Drummer

We're still missing a stage presence when it comes to the drums, so maybe we'll add this guy on Sunday nights! (Make sure you watch until the end, because his moves get better as it goes).

http://www.wimp.com/wronggig/

I've watched this one about ten times, and I still laugh out loud.

The Beautiful Game

So if you're going to play a sport, why not soccer? Here are three short videos that fans, and even a casual observer, would appreciate ...



This is Rene Higuita, famous for inventing the "scorpion" as modeled here ... http://wimp.com/crazysave/



Next we have the best goal ever ... http://wimp.com/niceplay



And finally the best soccer juggling video I've seen ... http://wimp.com/greatskill/ ... they are so fast you have to watch carefully to even see their moves.



And just so the non-soccer fans don't get left out, if you watch until the end of this video you'll see a not-so-creative solution by the employees on how to solve the over-crowding problem ... http://wimp.com/realbad/



Enjoy!

Seriously Japan?

Okay, this is a great title to a video ... Seriously Japan?

http://www.wimp.com/seriouslyjapan/

Clapping Mohawks sounds like a bad band name.

Pretty Impressive

In order to post more often than once every six months, I decided to begin sharing some entertainment with you all that is not original material.

www.wimp.com/walkwater

Come on, you've always wanted to figure out a way to do this!

Fashion Statement

Point of information: this blog about fashion does not contain pictures. I realize the affect is drastically reduced, but our technical department (Lauren) is out of town. Upon her return, we will attempt to enhance the blog with a visual.

You may have heard of my plaid pants, or even my hidden desire to see capes return to style, but today the subject is directed into a more plausible mainstream fad that has now hit the west coast. You can be the first mid-westerner to be as fashion forward as your friendly P-Blake neighbors. Introducing ...

Job's Robes!

You may be thinking bath robes. Nope. We're talking about real robes, as all the nations of the earth can trace their ancestry back to robes, even similar to the kind they wore in the 70's. Although we may have missed the window since trends are now imitating the 80's, it's really not that far-fetched. Think techno music with young people in hippie clothes - or robes. We need to jump on this opportunity, or else the next trend will be a bad re-make of grunge from the 90's whereby people are wearing skimpy clothes patterned after Nirvana. (Note: if said prediction happens about imitating Nirvana, this could lead us into a perilous season of reliving the year 2000 whereby we buy silver cars and wear silver jump suits similar to aliens from outer space since we're entering a new millenium.)

While plaid pants will remain on the golf course and capes at costume stores, don't be surprised when your neighbor who is tired of hyper-individualism and western culture goes near-eastern on you. Hollywood may even re-make the Ten Commandments movie to sell action figures to kids with this robes theme. Why will this go mainstream into things like movies? Because the humanists cannot reject anything, thus it will be accepted as a further expression of one's individualism. The New Age-ers won't reject your new fashion statement either since they will be attempting to decipher what type of energy you have. It will be far out to say the least.

Let's break this down a bit. Your neighbor is tiring of the intellecual and spiritual limitations of humanism and hyper-individualism, seeking out either New Age (eastern religions) or ancient religions (paganism, Catholicism, Judaism, Orthodox Christianity, etc.). In attempting to find meaning to life beyond the present, history begins to matter and world religions begin to become interesting. While frustrations remain with hyper-individualism as an idea, it is not as if we easily shift out of that with our actions. Thus, it logically concludes that people would wear robes as an expression of their hyper-individualism to express their frustrations of said philosophy. Oh yes, robes. It's the peak of tolerance in the midst of insanity.

For example, a young Gentile studying Judaism may begin to wear Orthodox Jewish clothes. Robes could easily be the style of choice for those studying Catholicism. In discussing this analogy with the immortal David Ham, he keenly noted: "It seems to parallel perfectly." Has there ever been a more forceful and persuasive case made by such a respected expert on sociology? He recently shaved his long beard, possibly in anticipation of this mega-trend, allowing him to re-grow it with a more distinguished point at the tip.

If the movies now portray mysticism, science-fiction, aliens, and neo-sorcery as the ideal over and against the greedy materialists of our day, then in an act of social defiance ... robes will be available soon at a Target near you. The irony is that it's hyper-individualism at its peak ... a constant state of confusion in attempting to blend flawed systems.

Those of a Biblical expression may find that it identifies them with their spiritual ancestors - or even as not of this world. What better way than to let your parents know you have abandoned the traditional American approach to life than by showing up this Thanksgiving in your new robe ... conversation starter?

With a down economy, you may not have the money to buy new clothes each time your wasteline changes. Solution: our classic robe is one size fits all and grows/shrinks with your seasonal fluctuations including mom's maternity needs. Stylish belts to choose from fit your classic robe or our customized robes that reflect historical and cultural patterns for a more authentic expression of your journey. If you are in need of an undergarment, we encourage the partner accessory entitled "Skidz for Kidz" which are brown ... thus disguising any streaks due to infrequent washing, thus preserving the environment and money.

So if you are looking for a green, economical, trendy solution to your identity crisis ... visit our web site at Job'sRobes.com ... and make that statement.

Blank Piece of Paper

I know, I know. Welcome to the 2010 blog world, self. It really has been over 10 months since the last post. It's partially been a lack of comedic material, along with staring at a blank screen when trying to write something about Zeke or Wyatt. Each month kept whizzing by with nothing to offer in either realm. Moments of joy are here, with Hadassah being a big one, people getting baptized in the Holy Spirit, Anderson's wedding, Tikkun folks, and other times for sure ... but you know. It's just been a hard season.

So fast forward a year and there are a lot of new KL folks blogging. Shout out! Special thanks to Big Cass in particular to calling me out that it's been too long avoiding the blog world. So here we go - this is all I've got right now ...

If Lebron James wasn't a free agent, then would the media have space to address the war build-up in Iran?

If the US dollar tanks, the only country/organization big enough to bail us out of our debt/currency dilemma is the International Monetary Fund (IMF) - leaving us slaves to the UN/one world government folks.

I miss Wyatt's soft skin, and of course cheeks. But most - I miss his friendship with Harrison and Noah. I really don't understand why they don't get to grow up together.

I'm excited about playing some soccer - feeling lethargic lately and needing the exercise. Plus at 36 it's a wild card as to how many seasons I have left in me. Anywhere from 1 to 20? Golf realistically needs to wait out soccer's run - that isn't over yet.

Feeling a bit older lately. It's as if I had a decade birthday like 30 or 40, but obviously I didn't. Lauren keeps pointing out that I have more gray hair this year, but for me it's more of a feeling on the inside. From what I can tell, being here on earth while Wyatt is in heaven seems to be making me think more about time, so that's probably the biggest factor. Having a limp from something like that brings maturity and aging, so I guess it's good.

Been enjoying kissing little Cass on the cheeks lately. Man, she's so squishy! She seems to have warmed up to me (and others?) a lot now.

I seem to be thinking in terms of months now instead of weeks. Meaning, "Boy June went by fast." It used to be that I had that thought after a week. But now the weeks are so fast that I don't even think about it until the month.

Feeling more teacher lately instead of prophet (personality gifts from Romans 12), so maybe the CS, double introvert, lower energy part of me is kicking in.

Looking forward to Harrison turning 13. Our "man-talks" are pretty fun. It reminds me of a Juster comment that wonder is why kids are so fun to be around. They are in wonder of all the new things they encounter. So being on this journey with the Lord and KL folks is keeping my wonder meter ticking, but seeing little H-man's wonder meter go berzerk is pretty fun too.

Pets & Poop

Pets. We grew up with pets ... dogs specifically. Abbie was the memorable dog from my childhood. We hunted with her, but I don't recall playing much with her. She slept in the same spot, which my mom liked because then the hair was all in one place to vacuum. My bad memory of Abbie was when she was old. She climbed up the doggie stairs to go through her doggie window to get outside ... but she fell off. She was spasm-ing on the garage floor when I got there. We didn't know if she was in pain, dying, or both. It was horrible. I remember my dad cried when we put her to sleep.

Fast forward ... there was a whirlwind of dogs after that. Sandie, Wendy, a few others with names ending with ee or ie or y ... but they wouldn't do. Rhea didn't pan out either, which is fine with me since her named rhymed with diahrrea. {Insert your own pun here, as I chose to ignore the pan, bed pan, diahrrea connection}. (Sorry for the second parentheses in a row, but this is no joke. My wife Lauren just said, and I quote ... "When you're sliding into first, and you feel something burst ... diahrrea uh uh, diahrrea uh uh.") Finally my parents settled on Peaches, who was a great dog in everyone's eyes except Jason's. I still think Peaches went to sleep too early.

I had Rock for awhile, a boxer that I really liked. Harrison was allergic to him though, and I was at work all day while Rock was bored at home. So he found a better home, and that has been my only adult experience with my own dog. Granted, I am an uncle to Yuma, in that funny sort of way whereby I invite her over even though it's understood that she will defecate or pee in my yard. The pee kills the grass, and Noah seems to step in the poop before we can pick it up. But Uncle Paul must not mind or else he would quit. I think it's seeing how excited Yuma gets when she knows I am in my work clothes, and she wants to run across the street. I have a hard time saying no.



Lauren and I have agreed on multiple occasions that a dog is not in our plans. Who would feed it? Clean up after it? Watch it when we travel? Pay for it? Not to mention the shedding, as guests can be allergic to dogs ... on and on and on. Her parents gave us a stuffed dog, Goldie, because they knew that we don't want a real dog. Goldie now sits by a window, partially as a joke/fake guard dog and partially because we have no real room for him elsewhere. However, there are emotional moments when Lauren almost caves, and recently we had one of those close calls. The neighbors were giving away free puppies.



Watch out men, you must stay strong in these moments of life. It's a 15 year commitment. In this case, some stray dog birthed some puppies in their garage ... yes, that's a BIG RED FLAG you just saw waving past you! Maybe half lab. I was a rock though, a pillar of strength and courage, unfazed by the moment. I even had the presence of mind to run a calculation on how many thousands of dollars it would cost us over 10-15 years if we took this "free" puppy. She ultimately realized that the emotions weren't a good enough reason to keep the dog. Afterward, she mentioned that the dog would have been sleeping with us in our bed! Men, do you see how crucial this is to hold your ground?!?! My bed needs to be clean, and dogs don't wipe their rears!



My main concern about having dogs is definitely the poop. Excrement is unclean. I think it's one of God's ways of reminding us how primitive and disgusting we can be. Have you ever felt prideful while sitting on the pot? I didn't think so. It's not a pomp and circumstance moment. Now I know that occasionally some of us guys have had moments of joy at the size or shape of our dung, but it's a vulnerable moment while you are sitting there. You can't really defend yourself if attacked while going ... girls don't like it ... the room stinks. And why do you start to sweat sometimes? That's a mystery to me. And even if you sneak in a game of hand-held Yahtzee or Poker, you have to make sure to not contaminate the hand-held game. An occasional redeeming factor is the alone time on a busy day, but overall it's a below average experience.



And no, I won't blog about my poop sample story.



With that said, I was talking with Tom recently about the poop in the yard from not one but two dogs at his house. That's a lot of crap. Whether it's fresh in the yard, fossilized over time in the grass, or stuck on your shoe ... ultimately the poop will hit the fan when somebody realizes that all this stuff has to be cleaned up.



I draw near to my conclusion with this very loosely paraphrased anecdote from Jerry Seinfeld (insert his voice inflection at your discretion). If aliens were to visit our planet, they would think the dogs are in charge. Why? We walk around behind our dogs, following them wherever they pull us. And wandering around aimlessly while staring at an animal's butt is not for kings. Then said dog drops a biscuit. I'm hear to tell you, whoever cleans up crap is not in charge of a planet. Not only that, but continuing to carry this biscuit in your hand is horrific - especially in those cheap, filled with holes, plastic hand-bags from Wal*Mart whereby you can still feel how gooey it is. {Side note that is definitely not from Jerry, although he is Jewish, as are tons of the comedians - I read that from a Jewish perspective there were certain occupations that were so bad that a wife could divorce her husband if he took it. Working with dung was one of them. Not sure if this was in ancient or modern times. Now continuing in Jerry's voice} ... The aliens would look at this scene, instantly recognize that the dog was the leader of our planet, and say, "Oh yeah, we need to talk to him."



So to close my thoughts on pets and poop, here is a picture of a recent toad found in our front yard. Noah likes bugs also, and we conveniently allow them all to live, pee, and take dumps ... outside ... in order to not disrupt the food chain.