Here are a few more of my favorites ...
http://wimp.com/airplaneskydive/
http://wimp.com/withoutparachute/
http://wimp.com/waterslide/
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
High Dive?
You don't want to miss this one ...
http://www.wimp.com/bellyflop/
Now a man doing a belly flop is much different than a woman. Ouch. Notice how there was a break in the video from when he landed until when he finally climbed out of the water. My guess is he stayed in the water for about a half hour recovering.
http://www.wimp.com/bellyflop/
Now a man doing a belly flop is much different than a woman. Ouch. Notice how there was a break in the video from when he landed until when he finally climbed out of the water. My guess is he stayed in the water for about a half hour recovering.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
One, Two, Threeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To read the title of this post, you have to visualize yourself at an Olympic wrestling match - I'd say Greco-Roman but that sounds so pagan. In the white corner, we have the Dad (yours truly) weighing in at 170 lbs. In the pink corner, we have Hadassah weighing in at 17 lbs. Yes, I outweigh her by 10x.
But in this style of wrestling, it's really a question of who can wiggle the fastest. While my brute force comes in handy, I think she's quicker than I am. Now in any wrestling match, the object is not to punch the person, otherwise my strength would overpower her. But my goal is to pin her down ... in order to change a diaper.
You are probably surprised to hear of my struggles. But you have left out one key ingredient - she has an older brother named Noah, the Wiggle Master. She has learned from the best. She has nothing to do all day long - but watch and learn from him. I'm at a disadvantage, having other goals in life besides learning to wiggle ... the power of a focused life!
Every once in awhile distraction works. You can put her on the changing table, and through a combination of slight of hand, giggling, tickling, and sticking my face one inch away from hers for comfort zone violating eye contact ... somehow managing to change her diaper (without only occasional glances at my hands) before she realizes it. However, this is the exception. Here is a more typical version. Due to nudity, there will be no video footage available.
First, I grab her by the waste and lay her on the changing table. This is the slow, boring part of the wrestling match. But that ends when her back touches the table. Once she's on her back, she realizes the match has started. I can't even get a one count from the ref.
Potentially inspired by the fact that I've just been awarded two points for a take down, she reverses out of it INSTANTLY for one point. She's not messing around. She's on her belly before I can reach to unbutton the one-sy. How do you spell 1Z? Is it onesy? Or onezy?
Trying to flip her back over onto her back is a waste of my energy, as she can flip back to her stomach too easily and quickly. To conserve energy (and patience), you have to concede and get her clothes off somehow while she lays on her belly. But I'm still leading 2-1.
I forgot to mention this only works for pee diapers. Poop diapers are a different story. But next you have to get the diaper off - not easy since she's laying on her belly and thus top of those velcro straps. Sometimes it works to stand her up, but other times she's too wiggly and it gets dangerous on a changing table. Plus if she stands up, that's one point for her for an escape. So I prefer the second takedown of the match, putting her down on the floor. Score! I'm up 4-1.
Now all of her wiggling is less dangerous, and I can manage to get the diaper off. Here's how: with one arm, I can trap her arms from wiggling and demobilize her while she's standing. The first wipe is damage prevention, keeping "stuff" off of me and the carpet. The second wipe is much trickier - trying to finish the job in the standing position is less than ideal. It's easier to put her back on her belly and wipe, but she often gets one point for an escape here. It's 4-2.
At this point, I have to go for the pin. That's right, a three count with her shoulder blades touching the ground. This is the position I need to complete the second wipe. So I muscle her down onto her back, and then I put my armpit right on top of her belly. I'm in the trenches here! But this blocks her head and arms from wiggling. Then I use my left hand to hold her legs down, and that's the hardest part. She has two legs and I have one hand. Have you ever tried to catch two baseballs simultaneously? It's about timing and coordination as much as power. My right hand is utilized for that crucial second wipe. I only have three seconds before the ref makes me move away, and before those legs break free.
It's not done there though. Getting a diaper and clothes back on is just as dramatic. It's essentially all of these steps in reverse. But as you can see, the process ends with me ahead 4-2, plus a 3 count pin and of course a clean diaper. Ding ... Ding. I almost smile out of satisfaction, but I'm a bit winded and near out of patience. It's at this point that she smiles, acting as if nothing ever happened.
But in this style of wrestling, it's really a question of who can wiggle the fastest. While my brute force comes in handy, I think she's quicker than I am. Now in any wrestling match, the object is not to punch the person, otherwise my strength would overpower her. But my goal is to pin her down ... in order to change a diaper.
You are probably surprised to hear of my struggles. But you have left out one key ingredient - she has an older brother named Noah, the Wiggle Master. She has learned from the best. She has nothing to do all day long - but watch and learn from him. I'm at a disadvantage, having other goals in life besides learning to wiggle ... the power of a focused life!
Every once in awhile distraction works. You can put her on the changing table, and through a combination of slight of hand, giggling, tickling, and sticking my face one inch away from hers for comfort zone violating eye contact ... somehow managing to change her diaper (without only occasional glances at my hands) before she realizes it. However, this is the exception. Here is a more typical version. Due to nudity, there will be no video footage available.
First, I grab her by the waste and lay her on the changing table. This is the slow, boring part of the wrestling match. But that ends when her back touches the table. Once she's on her back, she realizes the match has started. I can't even get a one count from the ref.
Potentially inspired by the fact that I've just been awarded two points for a take down, she reverses out of it INSTANTLY for one point. She's not messing around. She's on her belly before I can reach to unbutton the one-sy. How do you spell 1Z? Is it onesy? Or onezy?
Trying to flip her back over onto her back is a waste of my energy, as she can flip back to her stomach too easily and quickly. To conserve energy (and patience), you have to concede and get her clothes off somehow while she lays on her belly. But I'm still leading 2-1.
I forgot to mention this only works for pee diapers. Poop diapers are a different story. But next you have to get the diaper off - not easy since she's laying on her belly and thus top of those velcro straps. Sometimes it works to stand her up, but other times she's too wiggly and it gets dangerous on a changing table. Plus if she stands up, that's one point for her for an escape. So I prefer the second takedown of the match, putting her down on the floor. Score! I'm up 4-1.
Now all of her wiggling is less dangerous, and I can manage to get the diaper off. Here's how: with one arm, I can trap her arms from wiggling and demobilize her while she's standing. The first wipe is damage prevention, keeping "stuff" off of me and the carpet. The second wipe is much trickier - trying to finish the job in the standing position is less than ideal. It's easier to put her back on her belly and wipe, but she often gets one point for an escape here. It's 4-2.
At this point, I have to go for the pin. That's right, a three count with her shoulder blades touching the ground. This is the position I need to complete the second wipe. So I muscle her down onto her back, and then I put my armpit right on top of her belly. I'm in the trenches here! But this blocks her head and arms from wiggling. Then I use my left hand to hold her legs down, and that's the hardest part. She has two legs and I have one hand. Have you ever tried to catch two baseballs simultaneously? It's about timing and coordination as much as power. My right hand is utilized for that crucial second wipe. I only have three seconds before the ref makes me move away, and before those legs break free.
It's not done there though. Getting a diaper and clothes back on is just as dramatic. It's essentially all of these steps in reverse. But as you can see, the process ends with me ahead 4-2, plus a 3 count pin and of course a clean diaper. Ding ... Ding. I almost smile out of satisfaction, but I'm a bit winded and near out of patience. It's at this point that she smiles, acting as if nothing ever happened.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Dog Disaster
This may be semi-blog worthy, so bear with me.
A neighbor with three mini-dogs walks the block often, and yes he carries their poop. But Noah and I had him stop this time to pet the dogs. Oreo is the friendly one, and he came right up to us. I bent over and stuck my hand really low to show Noah how to let him lick you.
Warning ... it's at this point in the story that children should not continue reading.
All of a sudden, the most disgusting thing happened. I could have showered three times afterwards and not felt clean.
Oreo in his zeal stands up on his hind legs - not usually a problem. But he did it so fast and aggressive that he plastered his underside against my forearm. And you know what that means. I found Oreo was a boy as he smashed "it" against my finger! AAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Full body shiver!
A neighbor with three mini-dogs walks the block often, and yes he carries their poop. But Noah and I had him stop this time to pet the dogs. Oreo is the friendly one, and he came right up to us. I bent over and stuck my hand really low to show Noah how to let him lick you.
Warning ... it's at this point in the story that children should not continue reading.
All of a sudden, the most disgusting thing happened. I could have showered three times afterwards and not felt clean.
Oreo in his zeal stands up on his hind legs - not usually a problem. But he did it so fast and aggressive that he plastered his underside against my forearm. And you know what that means. I found Oreo was a boy as he smashed "it" against my finger! AAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Full body shiver!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Drummer
We're still missing a stage presence when it comes to the drums, so maybe we'll add this guy on Sunday nights! (Make sure you watch until the end, because his moves get better as it goes).
http://www.wimp.com/wronggig/
I've watched this one about ten times, and I still laugh out loud.
http://www.wimp.com/wronggig/
I've watched this one about ten times, and I still laugh out loud.
Monday, October 4, 2010
The Beautiful Game
So if you're going to play a sport, why not soccer? Here are three short videos that fans, and even a casual observer, would appreciate ...
This is Rene Higuita, famous for inventing the "scorpion" as modeled here ... http://wimp.com/crazysave/
Next we have the best goal ever ... http://wimp.com/niceplay
And finally the best soccer juggling video I've seen ... http://wimp.com/greatskill/ ... they are so fast you have to watch carefully to even see their moves.
And just so the non-soccer fans don't get left out, if you watch until the end of this video you'll see a not-so-creative solution by the employees on how to solve the over-crowding problem ... http://wimp.com/realbad/
Enjoy!
This is Rene Higuita, famous for inventing the "scorpion" as modeled here ... http://wimp.com/crazysave/
Next we have the best goal ever ... http://wimp.com/niceplay
And finally the best soccer juggling video I've seen ... http://wimp.com/greatskill/ ... they are so fast you have to watch carefully to even see their moves.
And just so the non-soccer fans don't get left out, if you watch until the end of this video you'll see a not-so-creative solution by the employees on how to solve the over-crowding problem ... http://wimp.com/realbad/
Enjoy!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Seriously Japan?
Okay, this is a great title to a video ... Seriously Japan?
http://www.wimp.com/seriouslyjapan/
Clapping Mohawks sounds like a bad band name.
http://www.wimp.com/seriouslyjapan/
Clapping Mohawks sounds like a bad band name.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Pretty Impressive
In order to post more often than once every six months, I decided to begin sharing some entertainment with you all that is not original material.
www.wimp.com/walkwater
Come on, you've always wanted to figure out a way to do this!
www.wimp.com/walkwater
Come on, you've always wanted to figure out a way to do this!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Fashion Statement
Point of information: this blog about fashion does not contain pictures. I realize the affect is drastically reduced, but our technical department (Lauren) is out of town. Upon her return, we will attempt to enhance the blog with a visual.
You may have heard of my plaid pants, or even my hidden desire to see capes return to style, but today the subject is directed into a more plausible mainstream fad that has now hit the west coast. You can be the first mid-westerner to be as fashion forward as your friendly P-Blake neighbors. Introducing ...
Job's Robes!
You may be thinking bath robes. Nope. We're talking about real robes, as all the nations of the earth can trace their ancestry back to robes, even similar to the kind they wore in the 70's. Although we may have missed the window since trends are now imitating the 80's, it's really not that far-fetched. Think techno music with young people in hippie clothes - or robes. We need to jump on this opportunity, or else the next trend will be a bad re-make of grunge from the 90's whereby people are wearing skimpy clothes patterned after Nirvana. (Note: if said prediction happens about imitating Nirvana, this could lead us into a perilous season of reliving the year 2000 whereby we buy silver cars and wear silver jump suits similar to aliens from outer space since we're entering a new millenium.)
While plaid pants will remain on the golf course and capes at costume stores, don't be surprised when your neighbor who is tired of hyper-individualism and western culture goes near-eastern on you. Hollywood may even re-make the Ten Commandments movie to sell action figures to kids with this robes theme. Why will this go mainstream into things like movies? Because the humanists cannot reject anything, thus it will be accepted as a further expression of one's individualism. The New Age-ers won't reject your new fashion statement either since they will be attempting to decipher what type of energy you have. It will be far out to say the least.
Let's break this down a bit. Your neighbor is tiring of the intellecual and spiritual limitations of humanism and hyper-individualism, seeking out either New Age (eastern religions) or ancient religions (paganism, Catholicism, Judaism, Orthodox Christianity, etc.). In attempting to find meaning to life beyond the present, history begins to matter and world religions begin to become interesting. While frustrations remain with hyper-individualism as an idea, it is not as if we easily shift out of that with our actions. Thus, it logically concludes that people would wear robes as an expression of their hyper-individualism to express their frustrations of said philosophy. Oh yes, robes. It's the peak of tolerance in the midst of insanity.
For example, a young Gentile studying Judaism may begin to wear Orthodox Jewish clothes. Robes could easily be the style of choice for those studying Catholicism. In discussing this analogy with the immortal David Ham, he keenly noted: "It seems to parallel perfectly." Has there ever been a more forceful and persuasive case made by such a respected expert on sociology? He recently shaved his long beard, possibly in anticipation of this mega-trend, allowing him to re-grow it with a more distinguished point at the tip.
If the movies now portray mysticism, science-fiction, aliens, and neo-sorcery as the ideal over and against the greedy materialists of our day, then in an act of social defiance ... robes will be available soon at a Target near you. The irony is that it's hyper-individualism at its peak ... a constant state of confusion in attempting to blend flawed systems.
Those of a Biblical expression may find that it identifies them with their spiritual ancestors - or even as not of this world. What better way than to let your parents know you have abandoned the traditional American approach to life than by showing up this Thanksgiving in your new robe ... conversation starter?
With a down economy, you may not have the money to buy new clothes each time your wasteline changes. Solution: our classic robe is one size fits all and grows/shrinks with your seasonal fluctuations including mom's maternity needs. Stylish belts to choose from fit your classic robe or our customized robes that reflect historical and cultural patterns for a more authentic expression of your journey. If you are in need of an undergarment, we encourage the partner accessory entitled "Skidz for Kidz" which are brown ... thus disguising any streaks due to infrequent washing, thus preserving the environment and money.
So if you are looking for a green, economical, trendy solution to your identity crisis ... visit our web site at Job'sRobes.com ... and make that statement.
You may have heard of my plaid pants, or even my hidden desire to see capes return to style, but today the subject is directed into a more plausible mainstream fad that has now hit the west coast. You can be the first mid-westerner to be as fashion forward as your friendly P-Blake neighbors. Introducing ...
Job's Robes!
You may be thinking bath robes. Nope. We're talking about real robes, as all the nations of the earth can trace their ancestry back to robes, even similar to the kind they wore in the 70's. Although we may have missed the window since trends are now imitating the 80's, it's really not that far-fetched. Think techno music with young people in hippie clothes - or robes. We need to jump on this opportunity, or else the next trend will be a bad re-make of grunge from the 90's whereby people are wearing skimpy clothes patterned after Nirvana. (Note: if said prediction happens about imitating Nirvana, this could lead us into a perilous season of reliving the year 2000 whereby we buy silver cars and wear silver jump suits similar to aliens from outer space since we're entering a new millenium.)
While plaid pants will remain on the golf course and capes at costume stores, don't be surprised when your neighbor who is tired of hyper-individualism and western culture goes near-eastern on you. Hollywood may even re-make the Ten Commandments movie to sell action figures to kids with this robes theme. Why will this go mainstream into things like movies? Because the humanists cannot reject anything, thus it will be accepted as a further expression of one's individualism. The New Age-ers won't reject your new fashion statement either since they will be attempting to decipher what type of energy you have. It will be far out to say the least.
Let's break this down a bit. Your neighbor is tiring of the intellecual and spiritual limitations of humanism and hyper-individualism, seeking out either New Age (eastern religions) or ancient religions (paganism, Catholicism, Judaism, Orthodox Christianity, etc.). In attempting to find meaning to life beyond the present, history begins to matter and world religions begin to become interesting. While frustrations remain with hyper-individualism as an idea, it is not as if we easily shift out of that with our actions. Thus, it logically concludes that people would wear robes as an expression of their hyper-individualism to express their frustrations of said philosophy. Oh yes, robes. It's the peak of tolerance in the midst of insanity.
For example, a young Gentile studying Judaism may begin to wear Orthodox Jewish clothes. Robes could easily be the style of choice for those studying Catholicism. In discussing this analogy with the immortal David Ham, he keenly noted: "It seems to parallel perfectly." Has there ever been a more forceful and persuasive case made by such a respected expert on sociology? He recently shaved his long beard, possibly in anticipation of this mega-trend, allowing him to re-grow it with a more distinguished point at the tip.
If the movies now portray mysticism, science-fiction, aliens, and neo-sorcery as the ideal over and against the greedy materialists of our day, then in an act of social defiance ... robes will be available soon at a Target near you. The irony is that it's hyper-individualism at its peak ... a constant state of confusion in attempting to blend flawed systems.
Those of a Biblical expression may find that it identifies them with their spiritual ancestors - or even as not of this world. What better way than to let your parents know you have abandoned the traditional American approach to life than by showing up this Thanksgiving in your new robe ... conversation starter?
With a down economy, you may not have the money to buy new clothes each time your wasteline changes. Solution: our classic robe is one size fits all and grows/shrinks with your seasonal fluctuations including mom's maternity needs. Stylish belts to choose from fit your classic robe or our customized robes that reflect historical and cultural patterns for a more authentic expression of your journey. If you are in need of an undergarment, we encourage the partner accessory entitled "Skidz for Kidz" which are brown ... thus disguising any streaks due to infrequent washing, thus preserving the environment and money.
So if you are looking for a green, economical, trendy solution to your identity crisis ... visit our web site at Job'sRobes.com ... and make that statement.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Blank Piece of Paper
I know, I know. Welcome to the 2010 blog world, self. It really has been over 10 months since the last post. It's partially been a lack of comedic material, along with staring at a blank screen when trying to write something about Zeke or Wyatt. Each month kept whizzing by with nothing to offer in either realm. Moments of joy are here, with Hadassah being a big one, people getting baptized in the Holy Spirit, Anderson's wedding, Tikkun folks, and other times for sure ... but you know. It's just been a hard season.
So fast forward a year and there are a lot of new KL folks blogging. Shout out! Special thanks to Big Cass in particular to calling me out that it's been too long avoiding the blog world. So here we go - this is all I've got right now ...
If Lebron James wasn't a free agent, then would the media have space to address the war build-up in Iran?
If the US dollar tanks, the only country/organization big enough to bail us out of our debt/currency dilemma is the International Monetary Fund (IMF) - leaving us slaves to the UN/one world government folks.
I miss Wyatt's soft skin, and of course cheeks. But most - I miss his friendship with Harrison and Noah. I really don't understand why they don't get to grow up together.
I'm excited about playing some soccer - feeling lethargic lately and needing the exercise. Plus at 36 it's a wild card as to how many seasons I have left in me. Anywhere from 1 to 20? Golf realistically needs to wait out soccer's run - that isn't over yet.
Feeling a bit older lately. It's as if I had a decade birthday like 30 or 40, but obviously I didn't. Lauren keeps pointing out that I have more gray hair this year, but for me it's more of a feeling on the inside. From what I can tell, being here on earth while Wyatt is in heaven seems to be making me think more about time, so that's probably the biggest factor. Having a limp from something like that brings maturity and aging, so I guess it's good.
Been enjoying kissing little Cass on the cheeks lately. Man, she's so squishy! She seems to have warmed up to me (and others?) a lot now.
I seem to be thinking in terms of months now instead of weeks. Meaning, "Boy June went by fast." It used to be that I had that thought after a week. But now the weeks are so fast that I don't even think about it until the month.
Feeling more teacher lately instead of prophet (personality gifts from Romans 12), so maybe the CS, double introvert, lower energy part of me is kicking in.
Looking forward to Harrison turning 13. Our "man-talks" are pretty fun. It reminds me of a Juster comment that wonder is why kids are so fun to be around. They are in wonder of all the new things they encounter. So being on this journey with the Lord and KL folks is keeping my wonder meter ticking, but seeing little H-man's wonder meter go berzerk is pretty fun too.
So fast forward a year and there are a lot of new KL folks blogging. Shout out! Special thanks to Big Cass in particular to calling me out that it's been too long avoiding the blog world. So here we go - this is all I've got right now ...
If Lebron James wasn't a free agent, then would the media have space to address the war build-up in Iran?
If the US dollar tanks, the only country/organization big enough to bail us out of our debt/currency dilemma is the International Monetary Fund (IMF) - leaving us slaves to the UN/one world government folks.
I miss Wyatt's soft skin, and of course cheeks. But most - I miss his friendship with Harrison and Noah. I really don't understand why they don't get to grow up together.
I'm excited about playing some soccer - feeling lethargic lately and needing the exercise. Plus at 36 it's a wild card as to how many seasons I have left in me. Anywhere from 1 to 20? Golf realistically needs to wait out soccer's run - that isn't over yet.
Feeling a bit older lately. It's as if I had a decade birthday like 30 or 40, but obviously I didn't. Lauren keeps pointing out that I have more gray hair this year, but for me it's more of a feeling on the inside. From what I can tell, being here on earth while Wyatt is in heaven seems to be making me think more about time, so that's probably the biggest factor. Having a limp from something like that brings maturity and aging, so I guess it's good.
Been enjoying kissing little Cass on the cheeks lately. Man, she's so squishy! She seems to have warmed up to me (and others?) a lot now.
I seem to be thinking in terms of months now instead of weeks. Meaning, "Boy June went by fast." It used to be that I had that thought after a week. But now the weeks are so fast that I don't even think about it until the month.
Feeling more teacher lately instead of prophet (personality gifts from Romans 12), so maybe the CS, double introvert, lower energy part of me is kicking in.
Looking forward to Harrison turning 13. Our "man-talks" are pretty fun. It reminds me of a Juster comment that wonder is why kids are so fun to be around. They are in wonder of all the new things they encounter. So being on this journey with the Lord and KL folks is keeping my wonder meter ticking, but seeing little H-man's wonder meter go berzerk is pretty fun too.
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